I was watching a TV show and his alarm was going off at 8am and all I thought was what a lucky bastard. The pisser was he was tired, you got no kids and you get to sleep until 8 o’clock, get your ass out of bed!
Why can’t my phone battery last once I leave the house? Seriously, I drop Teddy off at school, make one stop and BOOM! 15%.
How can so many people in this state be waiting for Gossip Girl Season 2 from the library? I’m number three on the waiting list, I requested it weeks ago.
It doesn’t matter how long Teddy plays hockey, I don’t ever see myself going to the rink in open toed shoes, shorts or flip flops.
Why must the garbage men compact the truck outside my house while I’m watching my shows. Can’t you do it two houses down?
If one of my kids yelled in the store the way the kid in the fruit roll up commercial, they may lose their tongue. Stella pitched a fit over cheese balls in Target once; it was months before she saw a cheese ball again.
How come large print books aren’t super thick?
Teddy and Stella are always going to fight over a game at the library, it doesn’t matter which one it is.
Some libraries are much nicer than others.
Walking to school on garbage day is quite repulsive. But you can find out a lot about your neighbors by what they have in their recycle bins.
Some parents hover, I’m the opposite. I let them go and watch from a distance. Kids need to learn to solve problems on their own. Don’t get me wrong, if a kid is being an ass I’ll jump in, but park the helicopter already you’re suffocating my kids.
At soccer they play a tag game and Stella ALWAYS volunteers to be a tagger. If she gets her sites on you, you can run all you want. She will chase (hunt) you down and get you.
If baking with your kids was as easy as the commercials make it look, my kids would be 200 pounds each.