Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Another Snow "Event"



We had another snow “event” last night. I didn’t even know until I let the dog out this morning. It was only about three quarters of an inch, no big deal. Seriously, I really had no clue there was a chance of snow. We have had a decent amount of snow so far this winter. (I gauge it by how many times my husband has to take the snow blower out…it’s like a small tractor). He’s done it twice.
 
This is from last week's snow day
I live in New England and I am used to the snow. Driving in snow is a lot different than driving in ice. I’ve spun out on black ice, scariest thing EVER! The people down south are having a very difficult time with their snow/ice “event” and this has nothing to do with what’s going on down there. This is something I noticed today getting ready to and bringing my kids to school today.

This is not complaining; it is observation.

What does (let’s just say) 1 inch of snow do to your morning?


  • The kids keep asking why they don’t have a snow day if there’s snow on the ground.
  • There’s enough snow to stay stuck on a kid’s boots so he can track some through the house while he’s taking out the garbage.
  • Because of the above problem, you end up with cold, wet socks.
  • There’s just enough snow that the car has to be cleaned off.
  • The snow that is getting cleared off the car ends up all over you.
  • There’s not a change in Hell your streets are going to get plowed.
  • The main streets have been sanded (salted?) so the car in front of you makes a mess of your windshield.


That’s all I have for now because I only drove my kids to school and don’t really plan on going anywhere else today (until pick up).

What observations have you made about snow “events”?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Stella's Loose Tooth



Let’s begin this “event” on Friday…

Stella had a loose tooth (her first one) and it makes me kind of sad that my tiny baby was about to lose her first tooth. But, so it goes. In true Stella-Blue fashion this event wasn’t without a strange conversation and reasoning on her part.

I told her she should keep wiggling her tooth so it would come out over the weekend. I can’t stand wiggly, dangly teeth. I just want to pull them right out, but Ted won’t let me. She was not completely thrilled with the idea of her tooth coming out. Don’t get me wrong, she is definitely up for the money; she has been known to steal it from her brother.

Here’s our chat…

Me: You should wiggle that tooth so it falls out this weekend.
Stella: I don’t think I want it to fall out.
Me: Why not? It doesn’t hurt.
Stella: I still want to be able to suck my thumb.
Me: (Looking perplexed) What do you mean? You’ll still be able to suck your thumb. Even though being 5 you should probably lay off that a bit.
Stella: I can’t once they fall out because then I’ll get buck teeth. I definitely don’t want buck teeth.
Me: Why are you so concerned about having buck teeth?
Stella: I don’t want to end up looking like a beaver.
Me: (Trying not to laugh at her) So you’re not going to have your teeth fall out, EVER?
Stella: Nope! I’m going to be an old lady with wiggly teeth that can still suck her thumb.
Me: Well, we can see how that goes.

Now onto Saturday…

The tooth was still there, so I bought apples at the store. Teddy and I were on our way home and I get a call.

Ted: I’ve got good news and bad news.
Me: (Knowing this could go either way, I brace myself) What is it?
Ted: Good news is, Stella lost her first tooth. Bad news is, Maizie kind of knocked it out.

I was only down the street and by the time I got home her mouth had been cleaned and the tooth was recovered. There’s nothing worse than trying to find an itty, bitty tooth on the floor.

Upon further investigation, it seems that Stella and Maizie were playing with a rope (which was taken away earlier in the day because they were fighting over it) and Stella had the rope in her mouth. What did Maizie do? She yanked it out of course, along with the tooth. I must say, she saved me a whole heap of aggravation of trying to convince Stella to let me get the tooth out.

The Tooth Fairy is free to come ($5 for the first one).

Right into her piggy bank



Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle Kraus



There are so many strange things that my kids do and have done that it’s hard to explain. Over the years I have taken pictures of some of the dandies that have happened at the Kraus House, because really who is going to believe me without the photographic evidence?  
This is Lola and she passes out in Koosa bowls.

Someone had a hankering for butter


This had fallen out of the fridge, bites and all

Dolls were always asleep on the floor

Tink had a rough night

Baby Yellow Birds sleeping...SHHH!!!

Opened the fridge and found this, it was fruit salad

This housed Stella's dead moth

Doesn't everyone have a bucket of doll parts in their bathroom

Tiniest Smallest Smallest taking a nap

Dead Barbie at the bottom of the stairs

Naked Barbie workouts

Stella can make reproductive organs, want one?

Stella removes the chocolate chips

Last but not least, this creepy ass anatomically correct doll that is frequently removed from Alabama's mouth

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The Trouble with 40



I turned 40 and I know there’s nothing I can do about it. Not to sound bitchy but, I have noticed that I do look better than some people I know that are younger than me. But there are just some things that happen to you once you hit 40 that really suck. I must say I noticed them starting around 35 but by my 40th birthday, I really hit the skids.

Eyesight-Going, going, gone! I can’t see shit. I can’t read books anymore. I NEED to use my Nook and set the font on elderly, so there are only about 15 lines on the page. If a restaurant is dark, I have no idea what the menu says; and if I have my contacts in, forget it all bets are off. I even bought a pair of reading glasses from the Dollar Store. That’s it, time to train Alabama.
 
Not bad looking for the Dollar Store
Whiskers-WTF is this all about? At least I am still able to look in a mirror and seek those suckers out. I am constantly rubbing and feeling my chin. Then if I feel one, man I hope it’s not while I’m in public. Then all I can think is, “Can everyone see this monstrosity growing out of my chin?” “Do I look like Rip Van Winkle?” God forbid I look into a lighted magnified mirror. Holy shit, who the hell is that and what happened to her chin?
 
I need to get another pair and keep them in my purse for emergency removals
Memory-What was I supposed to write? I didn’t have a good short term memory to begin with, now FORGET IT!! If it’s not written down, it’s not happening. It took me 2 years to make a doctor’s appointment because I simply kept forgetting to do it. I would remember when I was in bed (not going to do me any good then).  I leave the store with only half the stuff I went for, sometimes I even forget when I go with a list. There’s a lot of “Oh shit, …” said around here.

Gas-I’ve never had the best gastro-intestinal system, but now one handful of popcorn at the movies and by the closing credits I can shoot myself out of there like you let the air out of a balloon. I’m just a diverticulitis time bomb waiting to go off. Seriously, just about everyone in my family has is and I’m just waiting for my turn.

Pulled Muscles (for no reason)-I can be sitting at the table NOT MOVING and pull a muscle. It happened during supper; I pulled the entire right side of my back. I wasn’t reaching, lifting or bending, just sitting. Every day I need to stretch my back to where I can tie my own shoes. Sometimes when I want to cross my legs I need to grab onto my pants to pull my leg over.

Oh 40, what have you done to me?

Monday, January 13, 2014

I'm Turning into My Grandparents



People usually start to turn into their parents, not me, I skipped a generation. I’m turning into my grandparents, my mom’s dad and my dad’s mom to be specific. It’s bordering on creepy and I may need an intervention.

New Rules-Nana came up with “new rules” daily. It could have been something big or it could have been something small, but everyday there was a new rule. Sometimes there was even a list of “New Rules” posted on the fridge. The thing is, they never last long that could be the reason why new ones keep coming up.

I find myself announcing “new rules” quite frequently. We could be in the car, at home, in a store it doesn’t matter. You never know when a new rule is going to happen and at that inception of that rule…follow it! Teddy even asks, "Is that a new rule?"

House Coats-I have two and I wear them. I’m not talking about bathrobes, I’m talking about step into, zip up the front house coats (one is velour, I know your jealous and the other is leopard fleece, you can stop coveting them now). Thet do have more flair than you’d see in a nursing home, but saying they’re fashion forward would definitely be pushing it.
 
I know you're jealous



Nine times out of ten I put them on after I take a shower, before I get dressed so I don’t muss up my clothes before I head out to my destination. That one out of ten I will wear the leopard one all day if it’s chilly and I’m going to wear my pajamas all day.  You can ask my mailman, he’s seen the rockin’ ensemble

Organizing My Garbage-Well, I only organize the recycling. If you knew Grampa then you would understand completely. There were five people in the house when I was a kid and we only seemed to have one garbage can/bag on trash day. I have five people now and on trash day it looks like I cleaned out my basement every week. Poor Teddy has to take 4 or 5 trips to the curb to get it all out there.
 
I got it all into a cereal box!
I find myself compacting all the cardboard recycling into one small container. It could be a cereal box, a gift bag or some other random boxed food we had that week, but I feel it necessary to try to get ALL OF THE CARDBOARD into it, most of the time I am successful. If others would stop messing with my system, Teddy would cut down on his trash trips.
 
I wrapped my rubbish in gift bags
Sayings-I told the kids to “go wash their teeth” as soon as it was out of my mouth I looked at them. Stella was the only one that caught onto what I said, and then the inquisition began. “Why did you say that?” “Don’t you mean brush your teeth?” “Do you want us to use soap? ‘Cause that would be nasty.” I went on to tell her that my grandparents had false teeth and they would wash them instead of brushing them. Which lead to another inquisition.

I also called the refrigerator the icebox, what is this the 1930s? Teddy laughed at the slip, but of course Stella wasn’t going to let that go. More questions. I’ve also slipped and called the garbage rubbish and the iron the flat.

Naps-I have to take naps. My grandmother took a nap everyday and now I do too. The naps are not a luxury, they’re a necessity (CHF will do that to you). She took a nap around the same time everyday. I tell Stella to go get the big blue pillow and she and Alabama know it's time. Stella gets on the other couch and Alabama gets on me. People joke and say I’m lucky, but truth is, it kind of sucks.

Stella enjoys our nap time, as does Alabama. We watch Criminal Minds and drift off until my phone goes off and it’s time to pick up the other two from school.

So I ask you, are you turning into your parents or your grandparents?