Sunday, September 30, 2012

Going to the Dentist

On Friday I had to go to the dentist. I really like my dentist, I’ve been going there for 30 years but I dislike people working on my mouth with such a passion, I’d rather give birth. I have a few sensitive teeth and when they get touched with that evil grim reaper pick, I hit the roof. That problem may be solved; the hygienist used the high powered water pick. The only problem with that is, the top of my mouth is ticklish and every time she tried to clean my top teeth I ended up splashing water on my face, itching my gums. Oh well, at least it didn’t hurt.

That’s the good news. The bad news, I have a cavity. I could not believe it. I do everything in my power to avoid anything that may result in Novocain. I have a hate, hate relationship with it. I need copious amounts of it in order for them to do any work in my mouth.

It took nine shots of the stuff in order for them to pull a tooth. When I broke a tooth (on a piece of pizza) it took four shots in order to repair the tooth. I need so much, when I leave my entire face is numb for hours and I always end up biting my tongue or the inside of my mouth, which just prolongs the agony of haven just traumatized my mouth.

I take very good care of my teeth, for this very reason. You know why I have a cavity? Not flossing. If you previously recall in my reasons for wanting my own bathroom, one of them was a dental floss problem. Well, thank you kids.

I left the office swearing like Ralphie’s dad trying to fix the furnace. When I told my mom later that day, she had the nerve to blame my age (I’m not that old). No, I blame dental floss thieves. When I told my sister, with a justified look of shock and surprise, gasped a loud, “NOOOO!!!” (She came and got me at the dentist after the 9 shots of Novocain, she’s witnessed the damage.) My mom asked where the cavity was, I don’t know. Once I was told I had one, I blocked everything else out, they’re lucky I even remembered to right down the dreaded filling appointment.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Teddy's Thursday

Teddy had to go to get his yearly physical this morning. Ted took him because he has been very curious about his size. (Last week he grew over half an inch within a few days) The doctor said he was an exceptionally healthy specimen (I laugh because it’s like he’s almost non-human). He measured out at 52 ¾ inches (just about 4’ 5”) and 77 pounds, he’s not even six yet. They don’t anticipate him slowing down much in the growth department, which means I will have to feed this beast (quite a lot) for quite a long time.

The doctor asked my husband if he knew who Gronk was. That’s like asking the Easter Bunny if he knows what jelly beans are. She said he will probably be about the size of him. Let’s just hope Teddy doesn’t Tweet his questionable conquests.

Teddy had to bring an apple to school today because there was a Johnny Appleseed project. While I was at the grocery store the other day I contemplated the idea of buying the apples, but know that if I did, there would be none left for today (my kids are healthy food junkies). This morning I heard him say, “Oh man I hope we have an apple.” I told him Daddy was going to bring him to get him one after his appointment.

He’s got his shiny green apple and he’s off to school.

On the way home from school I asked why he needed the apple and he told me for
math. (I taught 1st grade for a very long time, I have a good idea what the apples were for) I asked if he counted them and he said no, I asked if he graphed them and he said no, then I asked “Well did you take them outside and throw them at cars that drove by?” He looked at me and said, “No, that would be rude.”

Upon further investigation, he did do some counting and graphing and he had to write g-r-e-e-n on his paper (but if you ask him he wrote verde…don’t ask). Then he told me the apple was for science, I thought it was for math. (The only one who can give a straight answer is Stella) I asked if he was going to eat the apple and he said that he needed it for tomorrow too. (Still didn’t answer the question) We shall see tomorrow if he gets to eat his verde apple.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Mall with Maizie

Today I had to get a present so I headed out to the mall. If this were a normal school day I would have my usual sidekick with me, but since there was no school today I decide to take Maizie, alone. Let’s just say that this caused quite an uproar before I left the house and as we drove away (a pathetic screaming little girl in the window).

Maizie is a very quiet and shy. One thing she loves to do is go to the mall, not go to stores in the mall, walk around the mall. When she’s in middle school she will be one of those girls that just walk around the mall all the time. She won’t necessarily buy anything (except an Awful Awful), just walk and walk. When we go into a store it takes less than five minutes before she asks to go back into the mall.

When we walk by the Purell dispenser in the middle of the mall (across from Pinkberry), she HAS to get some. Sometimes she tries to roll up her sleeves or asks me to hold her coat so she can get some. My reply to her is always, “What? Are you going to take a bath with it? We’re in the mall.” That usually gets the point across. Along with the Purell stop she also NEEDS an Awful Awful (today she opted for strawberry).

We were in a store with many, many breakable things and she had to put strawberry fingerprints on everything. It didn’t matter how many times I asked her not to touch. The more I asked the bigger challenge it became (How many things can I touch before she catches me?).

The mall may be the one and only place where I can tell her “No” and she won’t go it a grand mal tantrum over it. We passed the candy store and she wanted to go in, but I told her she had gotten the “shake” and she couldn’t have candy now because she’d get “the sugar” (big fear for my kids). That’s it, no problem we just kept on walking. If we were home there would have been yelling, tongues being stuck out, foot stomping and probably some swearing (and that’s just me…just kidding…maybe by the end of the argument) but because we were in THE MALL, all was fine in Maizie’s World.

I had parked at Jordan’s and when we went to leave she wanted to ride the escalator. We get to the top and had to walk through the maze of living rooms so Maizie could check out all the accessories. She’s was mostly fascinated by the fake plants and grass. Of course she had to touch them all and at one point I almost knocked down a display because my big rump was having a hard time trying get to a table to “feel” the grass on one of the tables.

Once out of the furniture maze, the water show was about to start so we headed in there. I have to sit through the whole thing with my eyes closed so a laser doesn’t trigger a migraine, but she’s loving it.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Screaming and Crying Will Get You No Where (With Me Anyway)

Last night was a rough one at the Kraus House. Every night someone comes downstairs after bedtime. Teddy usually makes it a whole four minutes before he feels the need to come downstairs with, “I need to ask you a question.” (Then takes two minutes to come up with some ridiculous question) You couldn’t ask that question while I was upstairs, four minutes ago? Teddy also has this thing where as soon as his eyes open (doesn’t matter what time it is) he NEEDS to get out of bed. This goes on just about every night.

Stella will just continue to come down and tell me, “I just can’t sleep” which translates into “I can’t sleep and I’m going to keep coming down to bother you, so you might as well just move over and let me sit with you.”  (I noticed this happens a lot when Project Runway is on) I only let her stay when the other two are asleep. If not we just repeat the vicious cycle and I end up pissed off and she cries and the other two wake up and all Hell breaks loose.

Maizie rarely comes down stairs and when she does it almost always ends with her sleeping in our bed. Last night she came down, had a warm glass of milk and watched some TV. When it was time to go to bed she asked if she could sleep with me. I didn’t say yes immediately, instead I asked her a question. (I honestly don’t even remember what I asked) She didn’t take that well, at all!

She had the nerve to yell at me and use a “nasty” word. Well you can absolutely forget about sleeping in my bed now little lady. Ted heard the commotion, came out then brought her to bed. In her fury, she woke up Teddy and Stella. Really, all I want to do is go to bed! I told her if she woke up in the middle of the night she could come in my bed (I’m in no condition to argue then).

At 4:30AM, Teddy came in and woke me up (big shock, he does this all the time). I asked him what the problem was and he said that Maizie woke him up because she was crying. She has done this before when she’s been sick, so I asked what was wrong with her. He said she was crying because she wanted to sleep in my bed. You’re going to start a crying campaign in the middle of the night? Are you out of your mind? That’s it! You poked the bear, at 4:30 no less, now I’m beyond pissed off.

I drag myself out of bed and go in their room and kneel by her bed. I gave her one good choice and one very undesirable choice and I went back to bed. She chose poorly. Next thing I know Stella is in my room, GAME ON, little screamer! She thinks that if she keeps them up I’ll give in, not tonight. I sent Teddy and Stella downstairs to sleep on the couch. This really put a damper on her master plan.

She had the nerve to think that screaming and causing a scene in the middle of the night was going to get her what she wanted. I am a master scene maker; she has no idea who she’s dealing with. To top it off, she knew that the other two got to watch TV while they were on the couch.

Mommy 1  Maizie 0

Monday, September 24, 2012

Kraus House Happenings

Posts from February 2012...Enjoy!!

Teddy got a ring pop. He ate the candy and saved the ring. He told Maizie he saved it for her so she could have it for her wedding.

Stella just came out with a blue tutu on her head and she said, "This is the kind of hair Katy Perry has."

Stella's tights keep falling down so I told her to get a different pair. She did and she just came and asked for help putting them on. I looked at her and told her to take off her shoes and old tights and I will help with the new tights. Her reply, "Give me a cracker and I'll let you help me." I just had to laugh at her.

The good thing about having a dog is that when you drop an entire bowl of macaroni all over the kitchen floor you don't have to worry about sweeping it up, just whistle and tap your foot at the mess.

Seriously...what do the Kraus kids have against pants?

Stella has been sick all day and Maizie is having a hard time being in the same room with her. May has spent most of the day upstairs or in the kitchen. If she ventures into the living room, whenever Stella moans or coughs she high tails it out of there.

Teddy has taken on doing dishes. I'm not sure if he uses any soap when he does it. Another problem is when he's done he puts the dishes he washed in the strainer with the other (actually clean) dishes and I'm not sure which ones were the ones he did.

Teddy's dream last night...Santa was dressed up like a pig and he ripped off his costume and he growled at him, he was a wolf.

Teddy had been using soap to wash the dishes, hand soap.

How many 6 year olds do you know that will turn down a soda? I know one...Maizie Kraus, that's who.

There is ample seating available in my living room, yet my kids insist on all sitting together on the love seat.

It's so funny to listen to Stella tell stories that begin, "When I was a little girl..."

Since Stella excels at giving dirty looks, Teddy has now started calling her Stink Eyes.

Stella the rock star

Since Maizie is a contagion she is missing school, so I am eating he Valentine cards (Skittles). Stella yelled at me, "DO NOT EAT ANOTHER ONE!!!" So I poured a whole bag in my mouth and mumbled, "Don't yell at me or no Skittles for you"

Teddy just called me Bossy Boots because I'm making him do his homework. He's lucky I'm being Mommy right now, because Mrs. Kraus is about to show up. Then we'll see if he does his work.

It's kind of sad that when I go to put Stella in the car she feels it's necessary to cover and protect her head.

Once again Teddy started crying during a meal because he bit his own finger. This time I could not stop laughing.

So I'm on the computer (Pinterest of course) and Stella yells "I'm done" from the bathroom. I go in there and she's sitting there with her crooked ponytails, faded face paint and the purple dress and brown leggings she's been wearing for the past 3 days (don't ask), as I step in the bathroom she looks at me and says, "I dropped a deuce" (thanks Ted). Once again I could hardly control my laughter as I told her that ladies don't say that.

Ted came home from BJs with a package of paper towels. The girls were SUPPOSED to put them away. I heard a lot of laughing so I went into the kitchen. They took them all out of the package, stacking them up and kicking them over. Apparently "it's lots of fun" to "stack these babies up"

Teddy has been sick since 3:30 this morning. He thinks he's better, gets up and gets sick again. He actually walked into the wall and knocked himself over. Poor Teddy Bear. (Haven't seen much of Maizie today)

I am so tired from being up since 330 and the kids keep asking me how to spell things and what certain letters spell. I told them I'm not in the mood top spell anymore. They asked what I was in the mood for and I said a nap. Stella said, "You can take a nap, I can take care of Teddy."

I keep telling Stella to clean her mess but she can't because she's "making Teddy feel better" I asked Teddy if she was making him feel better and he said the only way she could make him feel better was to make mommy happy.

Maizie came in and asked if I needed anything (yes I know Maizie and not Stella). I said I was all set, and then I hear all this commotion in the kitchen. I asked what was going on and Maizie said she was making toast for Stella.

Whenever I bring home any sort of exercise equipment the kids immediately take it as theirs. They ask how to use it, get in "exercise clothes" and workout. While I just sit and watch. Today Teddy said, "Mommy, we need to work out everyday to be fit and healthy" all the while I'm thinking when can I take a nap?

The figure eight resistance band is now a baby carrier.

Stella is hooked on Pinterest. She gets a chair and stands next to me, then points to the things she likes on the screen.

Stella can get Teddy to do anything. She just asked for milk and I said no go get some water. Next thing I know Teddy is walking by with her Tinkerbell cup with water. He puts it on the end table and tells her, "Here's your water Stella, you might have to sit in my seat so you can reach it." She says, "You can just give it to me when I need it." He agreed.

Friday Teddy has pajama day at school this was part of the conversation...
Me "You know you have to wear underwear on pajama day."
Teddy (indignant) "WHY?"
Me "Because you're going out in public"
Teddy "Did Maizie wear underwear at her pajama day?"
Me "Yes, she did"