Sunday, December 30, 2012

Random Thoughts This Holiday Season

I have many random thoughts throughout the day (a lot of them are about commercials) some appropriate and some very inappropriate (I usually text those thoughts to Mimi so I can brighten her day or completely gross her out). These are rated G, well one may be PG-13.

Staticy hair doesn’t seem to annoy kids as much as adults.

Give kids a tablet or iPad and they will leave you alone for hours.

Why is it that when people are about to burn something in a fireplace on TV, they stand there and look at the fire for what feels like forever. Just toss it in and be done with it.

If you can’t find something fabulous to make on Pinterest, you’re using it wrong.

I probably shouldn’t have showed (taught) Teddy how to play Mercy.

I am eerily intrigued and equally repulsed by WaxVac. Don’t know what it is? Google it and then tell me if you’re intrigued, repulsed or both.

One would think the set designers for the Clapper commercial would have gotten a better shaped Christmas tree.

Stella gets equally excited opening a box full of presents as she does opening actual presents.

It’s never a good idea to put presents under the tree before the 24th.

Stella can say Happy Holidays up to 73 times a day.

Maizie will only talk to the Santa at Bass Pro Shops.

If you tell a Kraus kid they can open a present on Christmas Eve, they will ask ALL DAY until they get to open it.

If Santa’s plate of goodies is not on the mantle, Alabama WILL eat it.

It takes 17 minutes to open all the presents, but over a week for me to get the house back in order.

The neighbors must think we have a big Christmas fight every year. Our tree is on the curb as the neighbors’ visitors are arriving.  (This year with the tree stand still on the tree.)

Don’t leave Maizie, Alabama and a container of dog treats unattended; no wonder she’s so fat.

I can watch Duck Dynasty all day long.

Do not feed a dog a ham bone unless you want to clean up doggy diarrhea all night (thanks Auntie Rey).

Kids don’t realize that the “Big City” (Providence) is only three minutes away.

The only one truly happy about having her own room is Maizie. The other two miss each other.

That kid who found porn on his DS in probably crying because his dad took it away and he didn’t get a chance to show is friends.

I do not like the way to pronounce tiramisu, especially on the Volkswagen commercial. I purposely pronounce it terra-miss-you.

I don’t think I’d be as annoyed with a cow singing in my shower as the TV family is. I’d be posting videos all over You Tube.

The best time for Alabama to score some cold cuts is if I make a sandwich right after an ASPCA commercial.

The first snowfall is like the first kid, it gets all the attention. A late winter storm doesn’t even get shoveled.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wordless Wednesday

We went to see Santa yesterday. When it was our turn, Teddy marched right up to him and started chatting. This was taken after the picture was taken, he needed as much face time as he could get. We had to tell him it was time to leave. By the way, this is the only Santa that Maizie will talk to.

Bass Pro Shops Santa is awesome!

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Germs

The Kraus house has the germs. Now I have been sick for about a month. That happens to me every year; I get a cold and it lingers for weeks, then one day I just notice that it’s gone. Stella felt it necessary to vomit all over the new car a few weeks ago. Then a few days later, she decided it was time to get sick again. She’s better now, but she keeps coming up with ailments. They change from a sore throat, a really bad headache and a stomach ache. She lies down for about seven minutes and then she’s fine.

Ted had strep throat (well still has it, but on medicine). He got his ass kicked by it. We really didn’t see him for three and a half days. I will tell you he was squeaky clean during that time. When he’s sick he takes a hot shower, up to five a day. Hell, he even wakes up in the middle of the night a takes a hot shower. During those days, I didn’t take one (wanted to it balance out).

Saturday night, Maizie said she had a sore throat. She even woke me up in the middle of the night to get her more medicine. Maizie doesn’t complain much. If she starts saying she doesn’t feel well, she must really be sick. Yesterday she just lay on the couch, moaning about her throat. She woke up this morning and didn’t feel that bad, she said her throat felt better.

Now, because Ted has strep throat and was on the verge of death for three days (not really, but well you know), and the fact that she had really (huge) swollen glands, Ted took her to the doctor. Give me strength. Maizie has strep throat; before you say “Oh poor thing” let me just say she’s fine.

Now I have to give her medicine, the white liquid antibiotics. Oh yea, big deal, kids need that all the time. Yes this is true, but no one else on this Earth has tried to give it to Maizie. She hates this medicine more than homework.
I am a pinner extraordinaire.

The last time I had to give it to her I had to hold her down and force it down her throat. No, I’m not exaggerating (I wish I was). Then I tried putting it in her energy drink. That would have worked out beautifully, if TNN (Teddy News Network) hadn’t broken the news of the scandal, live at breakfast. I tried to play it off as him making up stories, but she was onto me. We had another wrestling match trying to get her to finish her energy drink (it’s not a Honey Boo Boo kind of drink or Red Bull, its instant breakfast or Pediasure).

Tonight she wouldn’t drink the energy drink. I even offered her money. She asked if her medicine was in it and I did what every good mother would do, I lied. I told her I put the medicine in her rice, even though I gave her the rice before the medicine got here. I was getting nowhere so I had to call in the big guns; I got Ted to try to get her to drink the energy drink. Nothing worked, drastic steps were needed.

Ted and I had to hold her down, as she was fighting like a feral cat, and pour it into her mouth. As we are doing it, Stella was DYING to watch, but we kicked her out of the kitchen. Next thing we know she walks in with a camera (that’s my girl). Ted is holding her and I pour it into her mouth. She starts to spit it out, but we got her to swallow it. Boy was she PISSED OFF!

When it was all said and done, she said she liked the taste of it. We had to give her a little bit more, to compensate for the geyser effect, and she took it all by herself.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Seven Years Ago...

Seven years ago, Maizie came into this world. She is a wonderful little girl. She’s our first baby. Here are some things about Maizie.

She loves to sing, but don’t look at her while she’s doing it

She is a very smart girl. She only likes to work on her terms.

You want to see her fury, tell her she has homework. She hates it with every fabric of her being.

Alabama is clearly her dog (with the exception of me). When Teddy and Stella get up in the morning, Alabama hardly looks at them. Maizie comes down and Alabama is all over her.

She loves to help, especially when cooking.

As much as she hates to admit it, she loves her brother.

Maizie is incredibly shy, but once in a while she will chat people up and shock the Hell out of me.

She is not outwardly funny like Stella, but let me tell you when she comes out with a witty comment; she hits it right on the head.

She is extremely empathetic. If something sad happens in a show or book, she will cry.

Maizie could eat salad for every meal; she gets one every day for lunch.

She is the only one that will stay in bed at night (unless she is sick or gets a foot cramp).

She will drink milk over any other beverage offered (except a shake).

She is not exactly a morning person.

Maizie is a smart, extraordinary, beautiful girl and I’m glad she’s mine!

 Happy Birthday May!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Thankful Thursday

Welcome to my Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for Sudafed. After weeks of battling a clogged head, I went for the Sudafed. I’m really not supposed to take it, but I don’t care I can breathe.

I am thankful for electronics. My kids have been using my laptop, my phone and Ted’s tablet and when they do, they leave me alone…Happy Holidays to me!

I am thankful for car starters. I love being able to warm up the car before getting in it. It was quite useful at the ice rink last night. There’s one light that’s about as useful as a candle in the parking lot and because I started the car before we went outside, I was able to find the car.

On that note, I am thankful for heated seats. Nothing is better than a warm fanny on a cold day (or night). (Teddy likes the one in the back seat as well.)

I am thankful for the Elf on the Shelf (Elfel). I have so much leverage now. Someone’s acting up; I go tell Elfel, panic sets in and then all is well in the Kraus House.

For more, just click!

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