The Germs

The Kraus house has the germs. Now I have been sick for about a month. That happens to me every year; I get a cold and it lingers for weeks, then one day I just notice that it’s gone. Stella felt it necessary to vomit all over the new car a few weeks ago. Then a few days later, she decided it was time to get sick again. She’s better now, but she keeps coming up with ailments. They change from a sore throat, a really bad headache and a stomach ache. She lies down for about seven minutes and then she’s fine.

Ted had strep throat (well still has it, but on medicine). He got his ass kicked by it. We really didn’t see him for three and a half days. I will tell you he was squeaky clean during that time. When he’s sick he takes a hot shower, up to five a day. Hell, he even wakes up in the middle of the night a takes a hot shower. During those days, I didn’t take one (wanted to it balance out).

Saturday night, Maizie said she had a sore throat. She even woke me up in the middle of the night to get her more medicine. Maizie doesn’t complain much. If she starts saying she doesn’t feel well, she must really be sick. Yesterday she just lay on the couch, moaning about her throat. She woke up this morning and didn’t feel that bad, she said her throat felt better.

Now, because Ted has strep throat and was on the verge of death for three days (not really, but well you know), and the fact that she had really (huge) swollen glands, Ted took her to the doctor. Give me strength. Maizie has strep throat; before you say “Oh poor thing” let me just say she’s fine.

Now I have to give her medicine, the white liquid antibiotics. Oh yea, big deal, kids need that all the time. Yes this is true, but no one else on this Earth has tried to give it to Maizie. She hates this medicine more than homework.

I am a pinner extraordinaire.

The last time I had to give it to her I had to hold her down and force it down her throat. No, I’m not exaggerating (I wish I was). Then I tried putting it in her energy drink. That would have worked out beautifully, if TNN (Teddy News Network) hadn’t broken the news of the scandal, live at breakfast. I tried to play it off as him making up stories, but she was onto me. We had another wrestling match trying to get her to finish her energy drink (it’s not a Honey Boo Boo kind of drink or Red Bull, its instant breakfast or Pediasure).

Tonight she wouldn’t drink the energy drink. I even offered her money. She asked if her medicine was in it and I did what every good mother would do, I lied. I told her I put the medicine in her rice, even though I gave her the rice before the medicine got here. I was getting nowhere so I had to call in the big guns; I got Ted to try to get her to drink the energy drink. Nothing worked, drastic steps were needed.

Ted and I had to hold her down, as she was fighting like a feral cat, and pour it into her mouth. As we are doing it, Stella was DYING to watch, but we kicked her out of the kitchen. Next thing we know she walks in with a camera (that’s my girl). Ted is holding her and I pour it into her mouth. She starts to spit it out, but we got her to swallow it. Boy was she PISSED OFF!

When it was all said and done, she said she liked the taste of it. We had to give her a little bit more, to compensate for the geyser effect, and she took it all by herself.