Stella’s First Day as an "Only" Child

For half the day, I only have one kid with me and man is it easy. Stella’s patsy training has begun, looks like I have my work cut out for me. We dropped Teddy off at school and got back in the car. She immediately asked, “So what errands are we going to do?” I made the mistake of telling her we would be doing “stuff” while the kids were in school, she thinks I meant every day.

Luckily I did have two stops to make, the “Pill Store” (Rite Aid) and “Geeze Louise” (Aldi). People think she is the cutest thing (she plays it up too) so she gets a lot of attention. I think that may be one of the reasons she wants to go out every day. I tried leaving her in Rite Aid, but she followed me out (just kidding, I did ask her who she was and why she was following me). Then in Aldi I had to push the cart and let it go making her laugh hysterically. We ran our errands and started for home.

Stella and I don’t always have the same taste in music. Mountain Song by Jane’s Addiction came on the radio so I turned it up; you know what the dirty punk did? From her car seat, she started yelling, “BOO!!!” over the song. Really and Baby Beluga is musical genius?

Once home we find Ted drilling holes in the floor in order to move the TV, which means I’m going to be forced to clean (I HATE to clean). I did the next best thing, I had Stella clean for me, she IS in training. I gave her the required supplies, told her what needed to be done and let her have at it. Less I have to do the better.

The First Day of School

Today was the first day of school and the first day I had to be up and dressed early in a very long time. This morning may have been harder on me than it was on the kids; they’re up early every morning. I made them (okay, reheated…at least I had the forethought to prepare) chocolate chip pancake muffins with a side of sausage with syrup dipping sauce; did they eat it? No they did not, well of course Teddy did.

They got dressed and I had them pose in front of the fireplace with their signs (thank you Pinterest). I also had the forethought t wash the bricks of the fireplace since someone rubbed a FILTHY dry erase eraser all over the white bricks, what a chore that was; if you’ve used Magic Eraser you know you CANNOT clean just one spot.

We left for school, in the rain. When it rains the streets around a school on a regular day become a fustercluck, one the first day of school it’s EPIC. Maizie gave her kisses in the car and I walked her in while Ted stayed with Teddy and Stella. Stella was not thrilled about that. We find her class, then I get her settled, give her a kiss and I’m out the door.

Teddy didn’t have to go to school until 12:30, so I made him take off all his clothes. He said, “So you want me to be in just my underwear?” I replied, “Why should this be different than any other day?” He kept asking when it was time to go, this was the same kid that was so nervous a few weeks ago, he couldn’t sleep.

Stella and Teddy had lunch and then I tried to get Teddy to poop before he went to school. This would be the best scenario for all involved. He’s like a frat guy after a two day bender and at school they only have that old school square by square folded toilet paper, just trying to do the whole community and my washing machine a favor here. He didn’t have to go; I guess I would have to keep my fingers crossed.

He was dressed; snack and backpack packed and ready to go 40 minutes early. I was able to stall him for 10 minutes, after that he was ready to walk out the door and go to school himself (he told me he knows the way). 

I had to tell Ted we needed to go. We get to the school yard and we weren’t the first ones there, I guess other parents didn’t want to hear “Is it time to go?” anymore either.

The kids all go in and I guess because of Teddy being Teddy, we hung back. The other parents did not. They were hovering around, peeking in the window, trying to get that last goodbye. Once the crowd died down I looked in the window to see where he decided to sit. All the boys in the class (all 6 of them) sat at the same table and Teddy looked like Baby Huey sitting there. Seriously, by the end of the year they may have to bring in a desk from the third grade for him to sit in.

At pick up, Teddy comes out looking like he’s ready to pass out; he could barely run across the street to the car. We get in the house and he still has his backpack on and he’s pouring himself a drink, if he was old enough he’d probably go for a scotch. You would have thought he worked 12 hours in the fields instead of two and a half hours in kindergarten the way he kept going on and on about how hard he worked. Dude it’s only the first day and it’s kindergarten, he’s going to have it tough when he gets older.

I checked Maizie’s lunch bag and the whole day she ate a small handful of sesame sticks, yup that’s it, oh and a juice box and a milk. That’s it! Pretty much her entire lunch was still intact, so I did what any good mother would do; I stuck her whole lunch bag in the fridge for tomorrow.

Overall they had a good day. Teddy said he liked it and he’s going back tomorrow. That’s good because you really weren’t getting a say in that decision.

Some More Kraus Kid One (or more) Liners

Here are some Kraus Kid gems from September and October 2011

 

Teddy is not handling Maizie going to kindergarten well. Today she went in and didn't give him or Stella a kiss and he had a breakdown in the school yard. So Maizie's teacher had her come give him a kiss. He was crying in the car saying how much he missed May and Stella said, "I don't miss May".

Stella is up to something or she did something to the other 2 kids. She came down, shut the dining room door and has been holding it shut.

Stella wanted cereal but we're getting ready to go get Maizie at school so she said, "OK give me 3 pieces of cereal and I'll come with you."

Stella wanted a roll of tape to use as a tire swing for her doll but it was in a hanging basket above the sink and Ted had already said no. So she pushed the chair over, climbed up and got it herself. I was trying to take it from her, but she had a death grip on it and I'm laughing at her effort. As this is going on Teddy is giving my pointers on how to get it back, "Twist it, Pull her hair". I told her she could have a piece of the tape and as I was cutting it I dropped it. She snatched it up and ran out of the room before I could even bend down to get it... Guess who has a tire swing?

The kids just came home from spending the night at Nini's. Maizie has her hair all pretty and she has some flowers, Stella-Blue has her hair done and she looks like she got older overnight and Teddy...well Teddy's Teddy. He looks like he's coming off a two day bender. He's got pajama pants, no shirt, crooked hair and loafers with no socks.

Maizie just came downstairs with the phonics phone and told me that Santa hung up on her.

I want to make sure that everyone has Teddy's terminology correct. According to him...babies (infant -2yrs) vomit, 2 year olds puke and 3+ throws up. I'm sure all of you were as confused as I was and used the words incorrectly, now you know.

The bake pop commercial was just on and Teddy said, "Cake balls are so tiring we should get the bake pop pan. Hey look it comes with sticks." My cake balls are way tastier than bake pops could ever dream of being.

Ted is making cookies and the kids were having a hell of a time when they should have been in bed. I went up there and Maizie asked if I ate all the cookies and I said not yet so Stella yelled, "NO THEY'RE FOR BREAKFAST" so I told them every time I heard one of their voices or heard them jump I was going to eat a cookie...it has been pretty quiet.

Today while we were at Michael's there was a display of large Halloween wine bottle gift tubes (I can't think of what else to call them). We're walking by and Teddy in his not quiet voice says, "WOW that a big booze container" and of course there had to be a group of women discussing something with an associate at the next display.

Teddy just walked in and said, "So where do you put this thing called glue gun?" I said, "Where you can't get it."

The kids were outside playing. When I went to get them 2 had their coats off (after being told to keep them on). The girls immediately said, "Teddy peed outside!" Me, "Did you?" Teddy, "The girls told me to" Me, "Well I told you to keep your coat on, I'm glad you listen to someone."

I was getting a splinter out of Maizie's finger and the whole time she kept whispering to herself, "Stay still Maizie, stay still. Stay still Maizie, stay still."

Stella was being fresh so I told her I was going to drop her off at the bad girl school, she got upset. She was still acting up and yelling so then I told her that girls who act like that can't wear dresses, they have to wear tattered rags...bring on the hysterics. She was more upset over a dress than the bad girl school.

I roasted mini peppers and tomatoes for lunch and when I took them out they had the "burnt on them". I told Teddy they weren't burnt, that when you roast things the brown stuff is the sugars from the food. He was eating and asked, "Where's all this sugar you were talking about?"

Stella just stole more candy so I told her that her teeth were going to fall out. She replied with, "All of them? I want the tooth fairy to come."

Kindergarten Orientation

We went to Teddy’s Kindergarten orientation this morning and he had been worried about this for a week. He knows the teacher because Maizie had her last year and he been in the classroom on visits, but this time it’s his teacher and his classroom. He made sure his hair was done and we gave him some pointers on what NOT to say (like he was Malfoy or that he was a wizard, that doesn’t usually go over well).

We got there and the teacher starts to laugh and wants to show us something she found while she was setting up the room. At some point last year, Maizie used the stick on letters and wrote her name on the classroom window, backwards. Apparently there were no more I’s so she turned an H and used that for the second I. The teacher saved it for us to see.

There was a scavenger hunt for the kids to do. Teddy had a distinct advantage over the other kids; Maizie was showing him where everything was. She was walking around like she was queen of the classroom. When the scavenger hunt was completed, you could turn it in for a coloring book and a box of crayons.

Stella is a crayon junkie. If she sees them, she needs them; it’s an uncontrollable urge for her. I had put them in my bag and she kept asking if she could hold my bag. I told her I was good, then she offer to just hold the coloring book and crayons, this is when I started to realize we were going to have a real problem. Since we were getting ready to leave I let it go.

We pull into the driveway and she immediately offers to carry my bag, I started to laugh. We get into the house and she goes right into the bag and takes out the crayons and coloring book. I asked what she was doing and she said, “I’m just going to put these on my desk in case Teddy wants to use them.” Having them just sitting there, a brand new box of crayons and a new coloring book, was just killing her. A few minutes later she brings him the coloring book and even takes out a crayon for him to use. She showed him where to color and what to do. Ut oh, he colored outside the line (how dare he) she did the only thing she could, she took his coloring book and crayons away from him. Teddy was able to use (touch) his coloring book and crayons for a grand total of ten seconds.