Bribery Is My Best Policy

I can finally have peace, they will bend to my will, if not I will take away their new favorite things. We bought them what they really wanted; now if you don’t do what I want, I will take it away. Is this bribery? Of course it is, but being outnumbered we need every advantage we can get. You better believe I’m going to use their shiny new treasured possessions as pawns in “my mommy better win” game.

Teddy got an Avenger and Harry Potter game for Xbox, Stella got a much desired Leapster (of her very own) and Maizie got a jeweled hairbrush (I know it doesn’t sound like much compared to the other two, but she really, really likes it). Now I can threaten to take away these treasures when I ask over and over again for something to be done. Now what I’m not asking for is not unreasonable for a 4, 5 and 6 year old to do. They are quite capable of putting their clothes in the hamper; I don’t need three pairs of dirty underwear on the living room floor. They can put their dishes in the sink, the dog is fat enough and for the love of all that’s holy STAY IN BED!!!

That’s the big one…STAY IN BED. The thing is they work in pairs. It’s not just one that comes downstairs, it’s two (mostly Teddy and Stella). We put them to bed, Ted reads to them, and within 3 minutes Teddy’s ass in downstairs. He needs a drink, he needs to go to the bathroom or he needs and extra hug. Bullshit, you just want to see how far you can push it before I completely lose it. If it’s not him it’s Stella telling me she “can’t sleep” or she needs a sip of water, and once again Teddy his hot on her heels because he can’t sleep without his little sister. Dude what are you going to do when you all get you own rooms?  They will run upstairs toot sweet if they hear Ted’s office door open, but if I hoot and holler about getting back upstairs…NOTHING! It’s like they’re watching a one woman show.

Last night I told them as I was giving them each a kiss that if I saw them before morning Stella was going to lose her Leapster for the day, Teddy wasn’t going to be able to play Xbox and Maizie would lose her hairbrush. For the first time in a while I was able to watch TV in relative peace (just have to figure out how to get the dog to stop barking at the bushes). Round one goes to Mommy.