Tuesday, March 25, 2014

I'm Not Naming Names, But...

There is someone in the Kraus House who is a nasty skevortz. I know it’s hard to narrow it down to just one. Let’s face it, it could be any one of them (not me of course).

Someone went outside and got a little too cozy with nature (dead nature).

Auntie Rey and I could tell something funky was up when we could smell the offending party from across the room. The offense has only one punishment…a (dreaded) bath.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, this is the offender.
Never trust the innocent look
She needed a bath, desperately. And much to her chagrin, she got one.

Then you know what happened to Little Miss Fancy Pants Alabama Worley? Since there wasn’t a chance in Hell that smelly ass collar was going back on her neck (it was going straight into the garbage), she got to take a trip to the pet store.
Wish I had that much bling
So she rolls around in filth, gets a bath, then she gets new bling and her nails done. And she can’t leave the pet store without a bone.
Of course, a bone to chew on, for a day
Man, she’s got the life.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Just a Typical Morning

On any given school day, this is pretty much how I sound.

Time to get up.
What do you want for breakfast?
Do you want ____?  (Reply: Well, ...)
Yes or no?
(More suggestions follow)

Go get dressed.
(10 minutes later) Are you guys dressed?
(I go upstairs and see various stages of undress) Didn’t I ask you to get dressed?
Where did your clothes go?
You’ve got 5 minutes and then I come upstairs with the squirt bottle.
(Stella comes down completely dressed including accessories)
Where are your socks?

Brush your hair.
I don’t know where the brush is, it should be in the drawer in the bathroom.

Why are there still dishes on the table?

Brush your teeth.
Where are your socks?
You don’t brush your teeth in the living room.

Can you please go get the lunch bags?
Do you want a cheese stick?
It’s a yes or no question.

Did everyone brush their teeth?
Why not?
Where are your socks?
Put your socks on and get your shoes on!

Have you looked in the mirror?
Take a look and tell me if you need to do something.

Oh for the love of all that’s holy (and most likely some profanity) WHERE ARE YOUR SOCKS??

In the car, I’m leaving!

Anyone else out there have “trying” mornings?