When I try to have a conversation with Teddy or Maizie I now know how Ted
must feel when he has a conversation with me. The three of us do NOT have a
linear thought process. As he says, we have the thought process of a butterfly.
Some parents come to school looking like they just rolled up in a mobile
meth lab. I am guilty of wearing cut up denim shorts and a tank top with my bra
straps hanging out, but in my defense I bought the shorts that way and it was
in the 90s.
Stella is a hysterical, stubborn, demanding, foot stomping little girl
that makes you laugh, miss your turn and one way or another will manipulate
things to get her own way.
Between 8:48 and 9:03AM if there is a car flying down the streets within
two blocks of the school, chances are good that there is a kid late for school
in that car.
I may have high standards but going to the playground with your nip
hanging out my not be appropriate, just saying.
Whenever I step into the school or school yard, I automatically snap into
teacher mode. It’s a habit I can’t break. I find myself directing parents where
to go, informing them of the rules and giving them learning tips.
Teddy needs to remove ALL his clothes when he eats lunch, just his shirt
doesn’t cut in. He also needs to remove his shirt when he brushes his teeth.
The senior citizen population LOVES Stella-Blue.
I’ll never understand the need for fancy schmancy cocktails.
I’m becoming addicted to shows I
have no business watching, like The Regular Show and Adventure Time. My kids
watch them and I find myself standing there at the counter in the kitchen
laughing and my kids have no idea why because they don’t get the jokes. I even
get a little disappointed when they choose to watch SpongeBob over one of those
shows.
I can’t seem to turn off TV shows that have subtitles when someone is
speaking English. It’s because of this that I’m afraid to turn on TLC because
Honey Boo Boo may be on and I’ll get sucked in.
I should really clean up my potty mouth since I keep hearing the kids
mumbling my colorful phrases under their breath.
Stella can sing along with Nikki, Katy and Carly Rae to name a few, but
she doesn’t know all the words to Nursery Rhymes. Guess what I’m going to have
to listen to in the car.
When you start to see the seeds
through the skin of the grape tomato, don’t eat it. If you do, you’ll just run
for the sink, garbage or a napkin to spit it out. I’ve done it a few times this
week.
Why aren’t the kids in the Seat
Pets commercial in booster seats?
Avoid the streets around the high
school at dismissal time.
I swear a lot when I play my silly
internet games. Hell, I swear a lot in general.
It may be physically impossible
for me to organize anything. I go to do something and BAM I’m doing something
else, leave the room, at least a half an hour goes by before I realize I didn’t
do what I intended to do in the first place.
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