Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Excuse Me While I Air My Grievances

Every once in a while I like to get some things off my chest.  Most of these things I have had a conversation in my head about or just talked outloud to myself. A bunch of them have to do with the grocery store, and of course TV.

I love the Cottonelle commercials when they talk about “your bum”. I think it may be the British accent saying the word bum that gets me. I noticed on the Cotonelle commercial that the lady looked pregnant; if she is and that is her first baby I don’t think she know how much she’s going to need those once she gives birth. It is going to be a shitshow.

Survivor, why can’t you just have an entire cast of new contestants? These people have been on before and have had their chance to win, let others have a chance. Or has the world finally gotten sick of watching?

I swear I don’t think Shaw’s even carries Wunderbar Bologna. It doesn’t matter what day or time I go, they are always “sold out”. One of the many reasons I HATE that store.

Why can’t American Girl have a boy doll that’s not a twin? Babies come in boys too. Stella wants a “brother” for Bitty Baby, but they only come in pairs. Sorry Stella, Lucy will have to use your brother.

Grocery stores, why can’t you restock your shelves? If something is on sale in the flyer why isn’t it on the shelf? One or two things being sold out I can understand, but seven things on my list just gets on my nerves.

Cans are not as strong as they used to be (I sound like my grandfather). Pick one up and chances are you can squeeze it and move it. Therefore, there are lots of dented cans in the grocery store. I don’t like to buy dented cans thanks to the botulism episode of Quincy I saw as a kid.

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to take The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills seriously (because I really did before) now that Joyce will be on the show. I watched Siberia this summer.

I can’t stand those commercials with those big head Rocco and Carla. If one of my “kids” had an attitude like that over what was for dinner, they could kiss my ass. You don’t like, you don’t need to eat it (or anything else until breakfast with that attitude).

My kids (one specifically) really think I’m not going to find out all the things that they do at school. Heads up, if you do something incredibly asinine, your teacher WILL call me and you WILL get into trouble. So when you ask for the 100th time, “How did you know?” Remember, I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!

Whenever I go to the grocery store looking less than wonderful every fireman in the city is shopping. But I can look like I crawled out of the seventh circle of Hell and the butchers (plural) will come over to me and ask if I need anything; they must think I came from the third circle.


  1. I love this.. and seriously, what's with the cans!?
    P.S. My friend and her husband are in one of the new Cottonelle commercials (the guy who says he would use the wipes over TP... lol.

  2. haha I met the British Cottonelle lady in Chicago this summer, she's so freaking funny and awesome. Love this list, I'm cracking up.