Friday, April 12, 2013

When a Mom Falls in the Living Room, Everyone Hears It

Usually I write about funny things that my kids do, well it’s my turn now. I did something that I’m sure some people would never want to speak of again. I fell. I didn’t just stumble fall, I fell hard like a tree in my living room. I recently wrote how I was ready to get rid of gravity, that feeling is stronger than ever now.

I would feel better if a heavy amount of drinking was involved, but it wasn’t. All I did was trip over the threshold between my living room and dining room. I have tripped hundreds of times in the seven years we’ve lived here, but have always recovered, not today.
There it is, it's all his fault.

Since I can’t blame alcohol, I blame the Danskos. If you have worn them, you know how easy it is to turn your ankle in them. I did just that, plus a whole lot more.

I was looking for my pocketbook so I could get Maizie to the doctor. I spotted it and started to step sideways. I stepped and the side of my shoe (Dansko) hit the threshold and I started to go over. If the damn threshold wasn’t there, I would have stood a shot of recovering. Unfortunately, there was no saving myself. I went down like a tree, HARD.

All I felt was pain, head to toe pain. In less than half a second all these thoughts went through my head.

  • There is no way I’m going to make it up the hill tomorrow. (Soccer starts and Stella plays on top of a hill in the very back of the entire complex.)
  • We are having a party on Sunday and there is still way too much to do.
  • I can’t be on crutches because last time Teddy kept stealing them like the Richard sisters did to Brandi.
  • I’m not old enough for this to happen, this happens to nursing home people.
  • I’m completely sober, what’s my excuse going to be.
  • Ted is going to make fun of me.

Maizie saw the whole thing happen and was a bit concerned. I wasn’t sure what I had done to myself so when she was standing over me asking if I was okay, I told her to go get Daddy.

She went and got him. He wasn’t sure what was going on, until he saw me on the floor. By then I had enough time for the initial shock pain to wear off and just regular aches to set it. I realized I didn’t do any real damage (as far as I could tell). So I did what anyone in my situation should do, I started laughing…a lot.

Ted had to help me up and I realized I had a semi-puncture wound on my arm. From what? I have no idea.

Maizie had to get to the doctor; we were really starting to run late now. We get into the car and as we are driving my left shoulder is KILLING ME (the one I landed on) and I have a banging headache. I’m sure I will hurt much worse the next couple of days. As long as I can still walk, I’ll be happy.

For more funny stories, go to The Mommyhood Chronicles.


  1. Oh, no! The list of unexplicable ailments keeps growing...that's what happens with age. It is happening to me too :)

  2. Ouch! If you could get ahead of it with a little Tylenol or somesuch, it might reduce the severity. A little late for now...and hopefully there won't be a next time. Can you remove the threshhold?

    Hope you're feeling much better soon.

  3. Oh no hun!!! That must have really hurt!!! Mackenzie was brave in getting Daddy to help out! I hope you feel better this week!! Shoulder pain is the worst!!

  4. Oh, no. I hope all is much, much better this morning...