A Conversation from the Back Seat

Let me just begin by giving some background information on Maizie. She in no way, shape or form likes to discuss, think about or see vomit. She does not like to see or hear it on TV and if someone is coughing while eating she will jet from the room in Road Runner fashion. If she has a stomach ache and you ask her if she’s going to throw up, she will get extremely offended and upset, and don’t even think about offering her the “puke bowl”, they are fighting words. Teddy and Stella both know how to use this “weakness” against her.

Maizie has just finished Kindergarten and has mastered letter sounds. She can now sound out and spell a great number of words; so many that when her brother, Teddy who is entering Kindergarten in the fall, asks her a question she will spell the answer. This has been going on for about a week and each day Teddy has become increasingly frustrated (let's face it, she's really pissing him off). His frustration leads to the conversation in the back of the minivan (they didn’t know I was listening).

The girls and I had gone to Chipotle for lunch the day before and Maizie insisted on keeping her chip bag. This was the conversation…

Teddy:  What was in this bag?

Maizie:  C-H-I-P-S

Teddy:  (Talking through his teeth) Will you stop spelling every time I ask you a question? What was in the bag?

Maizie:  C-H-I-P-S

Teddy: (Talking through his teeth and leaning really close to her) If you keep spelling words when I ask you a question I am going to throw up on you BY PURPOSE!

Maizie:  Chips