Just a Typical Morning

On any given school day, this is pretty much how I sound.

Time to get up.

What do you want for breakfast?

Do you want ____?  (Reply: Well, ...)

Yes or no?

(More suggestions follow)

Go get dressed.

(10 minutes later) Are you guys dressed?

(I go upstairs and see various stages of undress) Didn’t I ask you to get dressed?

Where did your clothes go?

You’ve got 5 minutes and then I come upstairs with the squirt bottle.

(Stella comes down completely dressed including accessories)

Where are your socks?

Brush your hair.

I don’t know where the brush is, it should be in the drawer in the bathroom.

Why are there still dishes on the table?

Brush your teeth.

Where are your socks?

You don’t brush your teeth in the living room.

Can you please go get the lunch bags?

Do you want a cheese stick?

It’s a yes or no question.

Did everyone brush their teeth?

Why not?

Where are your socks?

Put your socks on and get your shoes on!

Have you looked in the mirror?

Take a look and tell me if you need to do something.

Oh for the love of all that’s holy (and most likely some profanity) WHERE ARE YOUR SOCKS??

In the car, I’m leaving!

Anyone else out there have “trying” mornings?

Today...We Bowl

I love bowling. Whenever I go I have visions of a Grease 2 flash mob breaking out. Then I look around and realize, it’s all in my head. Here I am with my three kids, if there’s any dancing, it’s not going to be choreographed (or coordinated for that matter).

One of the bowling alleys near my house (there are two) was having a vacation special. Since Stella had never been and Maizie hadn’t gone since she was really little, whether or not they we going to have fun was a crap shoot. So this was a perfect opportunity to give it a whirl (and it wasn’t snowing).

Someday I'll get a nice picture

We go in and they are fascinated. They always are whenever we go somewhere new.

We get our snazzy shoes on and go to gather our balls. The girls wanted to choose their ball based on color and Teddy wanted the heaviest ball he could possibly find. No, no, no that’s not how it works. Finally after some negotiations we had the balls we needed. The names were put into the scoreboard (remember when you had to do it with a pencil), the first ball ready to be thrown.

All she wants is...EVERY pink ball they have

Oh wait a minute, I look down the alley and then at those three. Every single ball they roll would end up in the gutter, so we had the bumpers (gutter guard) raised. Teddy thought he was “the Dude” (despite the fact he had never been 10 pin bowling before) and promptly got his ball stuck mid-lane. Really? Are you ready for the pro circuit now? Once he listened, he got the hang of it.

Did "the Dude" start out like this or did Munson end up like this?

Besides thinking he was “the Dude” he found the fact that he got to wear special shoes awesome. Then they deliver pizza and a “whole pitcher” of soda right to you. Not to mention he gets to throw heavy things. He got to throw things, eat some pizza, have some soda, throw things again, eat more pizza, have more soda and this went on for a couple of hours. He was loving it.

What is better than this?

The girls developed their own technique for getting the ball to hit the pins. Apparently if you squat down and lean to the side you want the ball to go to while making a frame with your hands at the pins you wants to fall will, .03% of the time. A Stella made up a special “I hit some pins” dance. And Maizie made sure the balls that came up the return were organized by color.

Part of her ritual

Waiting for the (pink) ball

I on the other hand did pretty well. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn’t drinking. But, I did get four strikes, yes you read that correctly, four strikes! I also got three spares but, those were absolutely because the bumpers were up. I may have scored the highest…EVER!!

Two strikes in a row!!!

The tie was a topic for discussion on the ride home

We had a fantastic time and the kids can’t wait to go back. I did, of course, make some observations.

If you are there with two kids, it is NOT necessary to take four of the 6lb balls. It’s school vacation and those are at a premium. You sir are just an asshole.

The amount of excuses some people will make about why they did badly is amazing. “The ball slipped.” “I took too many steps.” “My finger got stuck.” Just get over it. Me, I just go with it and say, “Well that sucked!”

Sitting on the (only) step and blocking our way to go back and forth to get our drinks and pizza is just obnoxious.

The senior citizens that bring the assload of snacks crack me up; cookies, candy, coffee cake, you name it, they had it.

What is a Snow Day?

They are different for everyone. I used to kind of like them when I was a teacher, as long as it was only a couple. Then when I only had one kid in school they were okay. Even when two were in school I didn’t mind as much. Now that three kids are in school, I have mixed emotions about them.

I like the fact that I can leave a package of donuts on the counter the night before and they can get their own breakfast and not wake me up. (Whenever there’s going to be snow I buy a box of donuts.) That about sums up the good part; not getting up and hustling three kids to school. The rest can (not always) be torture (on me).

The kids want to play video games, which is fine until one of them (I won’t name names) spends all the time changing her hat and won’t go on the quests, or whatever it is they do.

The calm before the storm

One of them will take the Skylander off the portal at an integral part of the game causing some sort of catastrophic event in the life of the other.

One won’t play Barbies with another.

When they do finally go play Barbies and/or Monster High the room is left like an F5 tornado hit it.

I usually forget I need to feed them lunch (they eat at school) until they complain at 2pm.

There are arts and craft supplies on every surface of the house (not much different from a weekend).

The dog gets to eat extra crayons.

My routine will get thrown off; chances are I will forget about supper.

These are just the highlights of what a Kraus House snow day is like. What is a snow day like in your house?

How Stella is Like a Hollywood Has-Been

Every little girl has a little diva inside them, but Stella is a Big Diva (in so many ways). There are times she reminds me of a starlet that has lost her Hollywood glow.

She gets in the tub with all her jewelry on and doesn’t realize it. Seriously, necklace, bracelet, headbands, you name it then she looks at you with an Oops face and starts to giggle.

She makes unreasonable demands.

 

She wanted to sit on top of the two stools.

She wakes up in the morning looking like she’s been on a week-long bender. Come to think of it, once you brush her hair she looks like that after 10 minutes.

 

No pants and one cowboy boot...enough said!

This is how she wakes up looking 85% of the time.

She still gets this excited over marshmallows.

She wants fame. She’s always wants me to take her picture and post it. Now she (and Teddy want to be You Tube stars). I can just imagine the stuff they would post because I know the stuff Ted won’t let me post.

I find her passed out on her floor.

 

I frequently find her on the floor, a few times she's been under the bed.

She can go days eating like a bird, then binge like she’s going to the chair.

Some of her outfits could get her on the “What were they thinking” list.

 

A Stella-Blue original

Sunglasses have become her signature look.

She causes public scenes.

She needs her beauty rest.

 

Do not disturb

She calls everyone by the same name, Bubby. She’s too cool to use Dahling.

What do you think, is she a diva?