When a Mom Falls in the Living Room, Everyone Hears It

Usually I write about funny things that my kids do, well it’s my turn now. I did something that I’m sure some people would never want to speak of again. I fell. I didn’t just stumble fall, I fell hard like a tree in my living room. I recently wrote how I was ready to get rid of gravity, that feeling is stronger than ever now.

I would feel better if a heavy amount of drinking was involved, but it wasn’t. All I did was trip over the threshold between my living room and dining room. I have tripped hundreds of times in the seven years we’ve lived here, but have always recovered, not today.

 

There it is, it's all his fault.

Since I can’t blame alcohol, I blame the Danskos. If you have worn them, you know how easy it is to turn your ankle in them. I did just that, plus a whole lot more.

I was looking for my pocketbook so I could get Maizie to the doctor. I spotted it and started to step sideways. I stepped and the side of my shoe (Dansko) hit the threshold and I started to go over. If the damn threshold wasn’t there, I would have stood a shot of recovering. Unfortunately, there was no saving myself. I went down like a tree, HARD.

All I felt was pain, head to toe pain. In less than half a second all these thoughts went through my head.

• There is no way I’m going to make it up the hill tomorrow. (Soccer starts and Stella plays on top of a hill in the very back of the entire complex.)
• We are having a party on Sunday and there is still way too much to do.
• I can’t be on crutches because last time Teddy kept stealing them like the Richard sisters did to Brandi.
• I’m not old enough for this to happen, this happens to nursing home people.
• I’m completely sober, what’s my excuse going to be.
• Ted is going to make fun of me.

Maizie saw the whole thing happen and was a bit concerned. I wasn’t sure what I had done to myself so when she was standing over me asking if I was okay, I told her to go get Daddy.

She went and got him. He wasn’t sure what was going on, until he saw me on the floor. By then I had enough time for the initial shock pain to wear off and just regular aches to set it. I realized I didn’t do any real damage (as far as I could tell). So I did what anyone in my situation should do, I started laughing…a lot.

Ted had to help me up and I realized I had a semi-puncture wound on my arm. From what? I have no idea.

Maizie had to get to the doctor; we were really starting to run late now. We get into the car and as we are driving my left shoulder is KILLING ME (the one I landed on) and I have a banging headache. I’m sure I will hurt much worse the next couple of days. As long as I can still walk, I’ll be happy.

For more funny stories, go to The Mommyhood Chronicles.